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Long time no entry. lol [Jan. 8th, 2008|08:05 am]

Wow, I haven't posted in this thing in like 2 years!!! Well, lets see, Katy and I lasted till Oct. 6th I believe was the date we'd split up. So we lasted a total of 3 years, they were good, but the last year we were together kinda went shitty. I was working at 7-11, which I enjoyed, I endded up moving into her families new house, which did not make me happy, we shared the basement with her sister... 
So no privicy at all, we didn't have a car and at the time she wasn't working. So in aug. I lost my job at 7-11 which really, really sucked, I slipped into a depression and went back to my parants house. Since I was spending most of my time there, the pissed off both my parants and Katy, Katy wanted me home and my parants wanted me out of the house. But one day, Katy calls me up saying if I don't return in the next few days, we'd need to talk about where our relationship was going. So I called her back and said maybe we should talk about it, maybe we should break up. So, later on, she called me and said maybe thats a good idea, but she just wanted to take a break, I on the other hand wanted to be single. I didn't think I loved Katy anymore, she was jobless and clingly. So, during that time I was didn't do much, Katy and I were still hanging out and sleeping together, but broken up, but she'd gotten job at Subway (Which is where she is still at). 
Then, on Nov. 13 I was going to ask her back out, I went and picked her up from her work, I was early but didn't know it. I felt like a kid in a candy store when I saw her, I'd totally fallen back in love with her, after we'd broken up I'd stopped bitching at her about smoking and drinking and she stopped being so fucking clingy. So, I pick her up and she tells me she doesn't want to sleep together anymore, because she feels guilty even going on dates. (We'd said that if we'd started sleeping with someone else, we'd tell the other person and break things off, this comes into effect later) So I tell her I was going to ask her back out right then and there. So she tells me she isn't interested anymore and that shes "dating" this new guy, Jason (I type his name with a sick feeling in my stomach). Two weeks later, I go to her house after having about 6 cups of coffie and I'm all tweeked out, she tells me shes sleeping with him, that the day before I came to pick her up and was going to ask her back out she'd fucked him. I, felt, destroyed. Later that evening I, feeling that I'd have nothing left to lose broke into her myspace and read things I really wish I hadn't. 
So, after reading that, I went into a semi-suicidal depression. I wasn't happy to say the least, then it endded up she started dating him and is now in love with him. Now, the reason I don't like him is, he's a Medic, a diabedic and a drunk... He got cought drunk driving the other day and he should fucking know better. He blows up Katy all the fucking time. He's also rather crazy, which I don't get into detail about.
But Katy and I are still friends, to a limit. I'm just tired of hearing about this guy from her, she calls me just basically talking about just him, she knows I'm still in love with her, why the fucked would she talk about that shit?!  I dunno.

Lets see, Vanessa and I started talking, again! haha, The first time we talked about 2-3 months ago, she was as normal, really distant and quiet. But now when we talk she's open, happy and giggly! We talk for like 4-5 hours at a time and shit. It's awesome, hopefully we'll be able to hang out soon, I haven't seen her in atleast a year, atleast! I've also started talking to my friend Megan from High School, an awesome, beautiful girl! I feel she could be my best friend if she wasn't so distant, it's hard to get ahold of her to hang out. I actually liked her when we started hanging out again, she's very much like myself, it's a pitty shes gay! haha!
Then I started hanging out with my friend Kevin again, he's been like a brother to me since like high school, so about 3 weeks ago we went to City for his birthday, we've gone every week since! it's been a blast!
I met a friend of his, this girl named Bronze, shes also fucking awesome! I promised her and Megan I'd dance with them at City not long ago and I did, took a few drinks to get me to, but I did! haha Then I went to Bronze's new years party, that was a blast, only I got really drunk and drunk called Katy, I said she made me sick to my stomach and I think shes a fucking whore. haha! 
So, I likely won't be drinking again anytime soon, I can't remember much from 2am-3:30am Jan. 1st 2008. lol 

Now, last night Katy called me just going on and on about Jason... Then asked if I wanted to her a story about him being a dumb ass, I snapped at her no, why would she think I'd want to hear anything about him?! So she got pissed and got off the phone with me... So last night I had this bad dream where we hung out and Jason as actting like a dick to her so we slept together, but I stopped because I said to her "after this, your just going to go back to him aren't you?" And she replyed "Yes" so I stopped everything and felt like the world was cloaked in a shadow around me and it was just me, no one else, alone. So when I woke up I thought about this old Journal, so I looked it up and found my old entries, which was about Darcy and when Katy and I first started dating and now I'm the G-man in it all. 
But after reading all those old entries, it reminded me of who I was and am. :) For the first time in ages I feel like myself! Confedent and cheerful. Welling to take on the world and give them one hell of a fight.

Also, I've started studying for my GED, I take the test in about 3 weeks, I start collage in about 3-4 months, I have a job interview today, looks like I most likely have that job, it's a coffie house which is awesome for me, it's also right up woodward, so if I can't use a car, I can take the bus.

So remember, hold onto those you love, because you won't know how much you love them until there gone.

-Edward the Honorable